NEED TO KNOW

• A wedding guest wrote to the "Asking Eric" advice column to share that they were put off by the fact that a bride and groom, who are in their 60s and have both been married before, registered for gifts

• They argued that "middle-aged adults with three marriages and two homes between them" should not be "asking others to re-equip and re-furnish their home"

• The couple is planning a wedding shower, and have registered for gifts, including "expensive" kitchen equipment, china, glassware and home furnishings

A wedding guest is questioning an older bride and groom's decision to register for gifts for their wedding.

In a letter to the "Asking Eric" advice column, published by PENN Live, the guest explained why they were put off by the couple's registry. They said the pair are both in their 60s, have "reasonably well-paying jobs" and have owned their "single-family homes" for many years. This will be the groom's second marriage and the bride's third.

The couple is planning to have a wedding shower, and they have registered for an array of gifts, including "expensive" kitchen equipment, china, glassware and home furnishings.

"Things newlyweds-to-be in their 20s or 30s might need to start out," the guest wrote. "Not middle-aged adults with three marriages and two homes between them."

The guest went on to share that the "appropriateness" of having a registry was "discussed" with the couple.

"When asked 'why,' they say the things they have are older; and, as they are starting out new together, they want things in their house to be new as well," the advice seeker wrote. "No matter that, by registering, they effectively ask others to pay to replace what they already have."

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The guest noted that the bride and groom are "otherwise nice, caring people," but that they feel they have "gone off the rails asking others to re-equip and re-furnish their home."

The guest then admitted that they would be "uncomfortable" using the new dishes, glasses and other gift items if invited over to the couple's home. "Am I being excessively critical of their plans?" they asked, concluding the letter.

In response, columnist R. Eric Thomas wrote that while it does take "a lot of nerve" to ask family and friends to replace "all their perfectly fine belongings," there is no harm done if those loved ones are willing to do so.

"No one is being forced to buy a gift," Thomas argued. "You certainly don’t have to buy them anything if you don’t want to."

"So, maybe live and let live here."

Thomas then expressed his concern that the guest was potentially going to allow the gift registry issue to "ruin" the friendship, and suggested an idea for the guest to gain a new perspective. "See if you can think of this as something you wouldn’t do in their shoes, but perhaps not an offense that makes them unworthy of being your friends," he concluded his response.

Read the original article on People